Skip to main content

Yesterday & Today

This is a story about how easily you can make someone feel differently about you...


Yesterday.
I went to the zoo with my colleagues.
Revisiting the joy of my childhood, giggling while feeding the deers.
I was so happy and anxious at the same time.
One part of me wanted to spend longer time;
Another wanted to go home.

It was his day. The day he turned 28.
I had not met and greeted him in person.
I planned to go back at 5pm, but it was hard to find cab.
Ending up reaching office at 8pm and cancelling our dinner.

But he was kind enough to wait.
Fortunately, he had some works to get done.
We spent the rest of the evening together;
eating at our fav humble place, sharing hugs and laughter.


I was so grateful of the simplest, purest love we had.
He said he was happy that he could spend his birthday with me.
Little did he know, I was the happiest human to hear that.



Today.
We started the day awfully.
He asked me whether he could have his gift exchanged.
The new belt I gave him was not as he thought it would be.
I was devastated; I was a failure. Each year I could not figure out the best gift for him.

Our conversation turned sour. We did not talk much during the day.

He was so sweet to agree sharing his dinner with me.
We chatted, we ate.. Suddenly things got better, but not for long.
I said the wrong things (again). He got hurt, deeply.
What stupid was that I did not even realize. Not until he left in silence.


It's been twice this month that he said I fed him up.
It makes me think: may be he is better without me.

Am I too selfish to make him stay?
Little did he know, I was most upset when I could not make him smile.
He deserves someone better, better than an indecisive girl who does not know how to do things right.






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Greetings from Pulau Tidung - Day 1

As I promised you, readers, I'm posting stories of my trip to the islands. :) Ready?? Okay here we go! Last Saturday, my friends and I went to Tidung Islands for a trip observation. It was officially a data-collecting activity and a hidden-intentional-holiday :3 There were moi (Shasa), Arif, Riry, Ethen and Yodsa.. Yes Just the 5 of us. They spent the night (Friday) in my house; the boys slept in the living room and the girls in the guest room. That was fun.. It felt like having lots of siblings. Hmm I always want to have big brothers. We began the trip from Muara Angke. The port was so stinky and filthy. We had to catch the 6 am boat so the morning started messily look as if we were having a war. Yodsa didn't even have a bath. Hahaa :) Well, thank God we made it. The boat take 3 hours to reach the island. So we sang and chatted along the way. I sang so much that a man offered me a record. Unbelievable! As we arrived on the island (Tidung Besar) at 11 am. We

D A D D Y

"IHH ANAK PEREMPUAN KOK SEPATUNYA KOTOR GITU" *BAM* It hits me on the face! Daddy, you really care about me. You pay attention to every tiny things about your daughters. I love you!  I promise I'll wash up soon

One of The Most Important Decision

So many things happened in life recently. I have just lost a grandpa.. A person whose stories I will forever miss. A person who could make people feel so much. I am so lucky to be able to be beside him through his last moments. How can I describe it? My grandpa passed away peacefully. He was healthy, just went to doctor for a check up, when he found out that his heart was running only with 40% function. He then got hospitalized for a week. His heart was weak, which inevitably impacted his lungs; But he was still able to talk & do things normally. Just needed to stay in bed. I spent my weekend with him. I scooped him some mashed banana, so it would be easier for him to swallow medicine. I helped him with his cough.. I have never imagined I would see him not-energized.. My grandpa, a war hero... He was a very active man. Even after turning 88 yo, he still spent the weekend visiting his children/grandchildren. What really touched me was that: even in his last m