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Yesterday & Today

This is a story about how easily you can make someone feel differently about you...


Yesterday.
I went to the zoo with my colleagues.
Revisiting the joy of my childhood, giggling while feeding the deers.
I was so happy and anxious at the same time.
One part of me wanted to spend longer time;
Another wanted to go home.

It was his day. The day he turned 28.
I had not met and greeted him in person.
I planned to go back at 5pm, but it was hard to find cab.
Ending up reaching office at 8pm and cancelling our dinner.

But he was kind enough to wait.
Fortunately, he had some works to get done.
We spent the rest of the evening together;
eating at our fav humble place, sharing hugs and laughter.


I was so grateful of the simplest, purest love we had.
He said he was happy that he could spend his birthday with me.
Little did he know, I was the happiest human to hear that.



Today.
We started the day awfully.
He asked me whether he could have his gift exchanged.
The new belt I gave him was not as he thought it would be.
I was devastated; I was a failure. Each year I could not figure out the best gift for him.

Our conversation turned sour. We did not talk much during the day.

He was so sweet to agree sharing his dinner with me.
We chatted, we ate.. Suddenly things got better, but not for long.
I said the wrong things (again). He got hurt, deeply.
What stupid was that I did not even realize. Not until he left in silence.


It's been twice this month that he said I fed him up.
It makes me think: may be he is better without me.

Am I too selfish to make him stay?
Little did he know, I was most upset when I could not make him smile.
He deserves someone better, better than an indecisive girl who does not know how to do things right.






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