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One of The Most Important Decision

So many things happened in life recently.

I have just lost a grandpa..
A person whose stories I will forever miss.
A person who could make people feel so much.
I am so lucky to be able to be beside him through his last moments.


How can I describe it?
My grandpa passed away peacefully.

He was healthy, just went to doctor for a check up,
when he found out that his heart was running only with 40% function.
He then got hospitalized for a week.
His heart was weak, which inevitably impacted his lungs;
But he was still able to talk & do things normally. Just needed to stay in bed.

I spent my weekend with him.
I scooped him some mashed banana, so it would be easier for him to swallow medicine.
I helped him with his cough..
I have never imagined I would see him not-energized.. My grandpa, a war hero...
He was a very active man. Even after turning 88 yo, he still spent the weekend visiting his children/grandchildren.

What really touched me was that:
even in his last moments, he was still keeping his salat (prayer).
From time to time, asking: "is it time to pray already?"
I watched him while he did tayammum.. It was one of the most wonderful thing I have ever seen.
A dedication of a person towards his belief.
Don't worry, in my life, I always do Salat & Zakat
He said that words to me the night before he passed away;
after listening to & reciting surah Al-Baqarah.
My mum told me that grandpa was ready.
He had seen his new 'home', a very good place he said.
He thanked my dad for 'renovating' it...


How about my dad (and mum)?
I am not sure that I can 'renovate' their future home.

It took me 3 weeks to think about it.
Throughout the days, even in dreams.

I talked to my friends who already wore Hijab,
I listened to their story of why & how they first decided.
Each day I get more convinced & sure about it.

Finally, yesterday I felt like I would never leave home without covering myself.
I felt naked & I felt really bad.. I thought about my dad who took all the burden.
It has been 15 years (and more) ever since I reached puberty.
So I have made my decision. I am ready.


From my experience of 1st day wearing hijab, covering myself..
I can say it bring better things. Sincerity & Respect.
I can feel how men stare at me, genuinely & respectfully.
My hijab makes me feel protected of being objectified. 
Girls who wear hijab suddenly become even more friendlier & welcome.
It feels like I am meeting new long-lost sisters.
I feel like someone new; a better version of myself.
Wearing a symbol of Islam makes me feel like I need to behave.
Whatever I do will directly affect other's perception of Islam.
Islam teaches good things & virtue. Thus, I shall speak that language, always.
It has only been 2 days.
I cannot lie that it feels hotter than it used to be (especially because I usually wore short skirt & sleeveless, light tops); but things that come from wearing hijab are amazing!

:)

Plus, hijab redefines beauty.
I honestly feel prettier covering myself.
I am saving the best for my last (and my family, of course). 



Cheers,
Annisa Ayuningtyas

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